THE END : FINALLY

For those of you PCT Journalist'ers: This is the entry of a 2013 hiker. The year the snow came record-breakingly early.

Tragically early.

I'm guilty - it's taken me 9 full months to write about the end of our trip. Like homework, this last post has lingered over me like an painfully overdue thesis paper.

So how does it end?


Day 162 - 165: No more miles.

Smiles, Dr. Slosh, Rocky and I caught the ferry from Stehekin to Lake Chelan the day after hiking in from Glacier Peak Wilderness. The hotel had been comfortable, but it was expensive, and a continuous stream of hikers was pouring into town looking for lodging, food, and a dry place to sort their thoughts and to plan their next moves. It was only fair that we got out of there and made room for them, especially since we were unsure of what to do next ourselves. We knew we couldn't wait around in Stehekin for the storm to pass, as it was expensive, small, isolated, and crowded, so we did the only thing that made sense: we left town. The only ways out of Stehekin are via ferry, hiking, or float plane, which speaks to it's remoteness. We'd be taking the "slow" ferry 4.5 hours, across the lake, to the nearest town of Chelan.

Rainy view from the porch.

Packs packed.

Although our only feasible option, the decision to board the boat was not an easy one, for we deeply felt the implications of leaving. We knew this could mean defeat. We knew that this 4 hour/$40 boat trip would place us worlds away from the trail, essentially in Eastern Washington, and that even though we would have time to spread out, assess all of our options, and make careful decisions, we would be making it more difficult for ourselves to return to the trail if we decided to go that route. The plan? To take each day, each hour as it came, vigilantly watch the weather reports and make the most logical decisions possible.

It had taken us nearly 6 months to walk here, to this remote mountain community - Stehekin - the gateway to Canada. Our last stop before the border. Stehekin is a monumental milestone in and of itself, and reaching it brought intense emotions for all of us. This should be an exciting time! We rejoiced, in a bittersweet dysfunctional way. So many "lasts": last mail drop, last town stop, last trail food, last pastry resupply, (LAST RESUPPLY), last hotel bed, last trail town breakfast, last packing our full food bags, last last last last.... We had been counting our "lasts" for a while now, starting with our "last state" - Washington.

And this was to be our "last trail town" before the monument.

We had taken note of our "last hitch hike" when we caught a ride with a couple of German tourists in a rental RV at Stevens Pass. We found joy in our "last section that was over 100 miles". There was our "last major river ford" and "last scary log crossing"... Trust me, we had been counting our "lasts". In Stehekin we picked up our last resupply boxes, that we had so carefully packed more than a month prior while in Portland. It was emotional: exhilarating and heartbreaking at once. But little did we know, at the moment, as we carried our final Priority Mail Boxes back to our packs in the rain, that those miles we had done the day before... would be our last miles.

The four of us had slept in, missing the large farewell party out on the dock earlier in the day. A giant group of hikers (many of whom we reunited with at the restaurant the night before) was leaving on the early ferry to Chelan. The ranger had been right, it was a sad sight to see so many hikers leaving trail (whether it was for good or to assess a plan B) and going to Lake Chelan.

After visiting the famous Stehekin bakery (O M G THAT BAKERY DID NOT DISAPPOINT), we discussed our options and ultimately decided to catch the afternoon ferry. We would regroup, share a room in Chelan to save what little money we had left, and wait out the storm.

Just my treats.

The boys doing some light reading in the Stehekin Bakery. So warm, so cozy.

My favorite thing I've ever eaten: Chocolate Streusel Coffee Cake

More treats.

I could photograph treats for days.

The ferry ride, although slightly depressing, in a severe way, was mildly enjoyable. This was because we had the company of two of our favorite hikers on trail: Running Commentary and Haggis (or Tracy and Ingrid). Love these guys!

Me, Smiles, Dr. Slosh, Haggis, Running Commentary

Me & Rocky

Dr. Slosh.

So long, Stehekin.

Landing on the other end of the 55 mile long lake (it is, literally, shaped like a snake) after hours of pondering our predicament, we were swooped up by the Apple Inn Motel folks and escorted to our motel rooms. This is where we spent a total of 3 nights and 4 full days in limbo, not knowing what our next move would be. It was complete agony.

A sort of suspended agony.

At what point do we continue waiting out the storm and at what point do we make the decision to call it quits?

"Quitting."

I never thought that we would make it to Stehekin, only to get off trail a mere 80 miles from the Canadian border. Quitting the trail, or "not making it", was not an option. We'd heard stories of people getting off the trail for whatever reason, and always told ourselves, "that's not going to be us".
But, it happens.

And you know what? That's what we did. The one thing you cannot control is the weather.

The storm brewing over the distant mountains.

Smiles, Rocky and Slosh hobbling to breakfast, with the storm in the distance.

Storm still present at night.

At the edge of town, down by the lake shore, we could see the mountains in the distance where we had come from, with a dark grey storm cap. It was still dumping snow in the North Cascades (we could see it) and each day brought we became even more nervous. Every thru-hiker at this point had to make a decision - every one of us. This was a very difficult situation for every thru-hiker left on trail in late September. Some hikers chose to get off the trail completely, vowing to come back and finish it another time. Other hikers hitched into nearby towns (or Seattle.. or Portland) to wait out the storm, gearing up with snowshoes and other winter weather equipment, determined to tackle the last section no matter how much snow was on the ground. Some hikers were planning an epic road walk, wanting to connect their footsteps to Canada, even if it was not on the PCT. And yet, other hikers were fortunate enough to go home, and gear up with what winter gear the already possessed, wait out the storm, and come back (even flying back out) weeks later to finish the trail in the same season. 

Each hiker made the decision that was right for them. Every one of us was faced with a very tough decision and made the decision that was right for us.

Ben and I grappled with our ultimate decision to get off trail for many months, but have come to the conclusion that we did what was best for us, with what was thrown our way and we cannot regret it. I have spent 9 months oscillating between mourning and celebrating my thru-hike.

Winter came unseasonably early in the North Cascades, and neither of us felt comfortable with significant snow travel. Always striving to be "ultralight", our gear was not fit for the conditions, and continuing would have meant purchasing new gear for the last 80 miles. Gear that may or may not get us to Canada. Hiking conditions that we may or may not be comfortable with.

After much deliberation and back-and-forth, the four of us finally made the decision to part ways. Smiles and Slosh would continue on to finish their hike in a more creative way, while Ben and I would go home. We did not feel equipped (physically, mentally, financially) to continue in the current conditions and were running out of time (and money) to wait it out.

The decision to get off trail was never a real decision. It's funny how that sounds, but it's true - we couldn't just sit and wait around indefinitely, at some point we needed to make a move to vacate the Apple Inn Motel and DO SOMETHING. So we did what our gut told us to do, and we made the long journey home.

We would finish our hike the following year.

It took us a long time to come to terms with how our hike ended - to accept that finishing those 80 miles another time, did not mean our thru-hike was not "valid". We plan to hike the remaining Washington miles in August of 2014.

And you know what? It's going to be just as amazing.

(more on re-entry and "feelings" to come)

A quick note to the Class of 2014: 

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU! I AM READING YOUR BLOGS AND LOVING EVERY ONE OF THEM! MAY YOU GET TO CANADA HEALTHY, STRONG, and IN GOOD WEATHER!